Excerpts from previously unpublished blogs

Fortune is as fortune does
...This leads me to wonder what exactly fortune means anyways. The dictionary defines 'Fortune' in more ways that I expected... 'success especially when resulting from luck', 'A person's standing in life determined by material possessions', 'Extensive amounts of material possessions or money', 'a hypothetical, often personified force that favorably or unfavorably governs of one's life,' and ' a foretelling of one's destiny'. When I have the opportunity to add my own notes to the Webster Dictionary, I plan to add --> Fortune: Publishing in magazine form of which it's sole purpose of existence is to promote greed upon greed. (as a side note I'll add: My ex-boss probably has a subscription AND gives subscriptions to loved ones as Christmas gifts). Also, leading me to a brief tangent about when people say "money is the root of all evil". It's not the money, it's the people and how they react to money. Therefore, wouldn't it make more sense to say, "People are the root of all evil" ? Just a thought....

Put your shoes on little girl...
...growing up is a funny thing. It happens all of a sudden. It's like one minute, you're the oldest person at the kids table then the next, you feel like someone is going to offer to cut your steak for you at any moment at the "grown up table"....

Starting over and moving forward
....And you wake up one abnormally warm May morning, two and a half years after you first heard "traffic is at a stand still on the 15 Southbound through the 163 merge," and IT hits you. You can find your way just about anywhere in this beautiful city and you know to go Starbucks in Bird Rock for a mocha and the Sunday Union Trib, then head to the Law street lawn for some weekend relaxation. You can go for a drive down Carroll Canyon when you feel the need to exercise your race car driving skills. And two and a half years later, you know that Bookstar in Point Loma will certainly have the book your looking for, the cool postcards you didn't quite need and the music you hadn't yet thought to buy. You can pick up nachos at Taco Express downtown before heading to the art gallery no one knows you go to then go to Balboa park and sit by your favorite garden that was, coincidentally, dedicated to the city on your birthday. And two and a half years after you cried because you didn't think you'd make here alone, you wake up and know that it's more than a beautiful city full of mystery and grace, it's home..and it's where you're supposed to be.

Get it?
...my companion showed me a picture of his friend and stated that "(this friend) gets me". I loved that, he didn't seem to think much of it, but as he continued with his stories, my mind wandered... To have someone "get" you. I just love that idea. And it could very well be one of the sweetest compliments I've ever heard someone say about a friend. The comment lead me into a spiral of thought trying to determine, who "gets" me? My sister would probably come closest to that award. But even my sweet sister, she doesn't know everything. My goodness, I can't imagine if she knew "everything"....

On love, In....
...and maybe your fear will subside. You'll become comfortable with the fact that this is, indeed, real. One day you'll wake up and realize that he's not going to get sick of you and you're not going to get sick of him, and you're a good team. And one day you'll come to the conclusion that you don't have to be scared, because this is what it means to feel like you could spend the rest of you life with one person. And maybe you'll type those words and your stomach will ache as you do so...but you type them anyways, because you can't run forever. And your excuses don't work anymore, because not all stories end the way you thought they did. Sometimes there are surprise endings... and sometimes, the surprises are really just the beginning.

Spread the love

Mmm...I will forever be in debt to Britt for introducing me to Spread in NorthPark. Spread, is a fairly new, funky vegetarian restaurant that also sells gourmet, homemade peanut butter. This WhiteChocolatePretzelPeanutButter rocks my socks. I also picked up it's sister spread...the DarkChocolatePretzelPB. I'm currently enjoying the chocolately-pretzely-peanutbuttery goodness of it on my toasted bagel. Oh boy, when that starts to warm and melt just a bit...good times. This fairly discreet, self described nouveau comfort food restaurant is tucked away on University Ave and I kid you not when I tell you I drove around the block 10 times at 8pm on Wednesday night looking for this place. Apparently, it's "directly across the street from Claire de Lune". Oh, I see it now. Thanks.

Is this delectable treat truly a peanut butter you may ask yourself? Well this very question was posed during a very 'am-I-in-high-school-again' lunch time discussion here at my office. "Well sure it's peanut butter," two of us PB lovers argued. I mean, of course it is... right? The main base of the product is, in fact, peanut butter (or almond butter if you so prefer, because this fantastic place also makes gourmet almond butters! Hooray!) and therefore, I feel that it is indeed a peanut butter. A peanut butter spread. I'm flexible with the term. Nothing to get worked up about. However, there was one particularly set-in-her-ways participant in this discussion that refused to allow our treat to be called a peanut butter! A spread? Yes. That was allowed. But under no circumstances, should the tasty treat be called peanut butter. And god forbid if I would have called it PB! Whoa now, all hell could have broke loose. As I listened to my Spread guru make her argument in the most polite way possible, I heard our PB nemesis announce that if there are numerous items mixed in, it's no longer Peanut Butter. My point of argument came rushing to me. "Okay now, how about this..." I proposed, "what about cream cheese? They have cream cheese with chives, salmon even. Is that no longer cream cheese then?!" A-ha! I just knew I had her with this one. To which she replied, " no. it's not cream cheese. It's a spread!" Dammit!!! Why?? Why can't I make this person see the light and realize all that is good within the delicious treat of treats and just call it freakin peanut butter!!?? Alas, we never came to a compromise on the topic and my PB guru and I bowed out gracefully and moved on with our day.

I hadn't thought about the conversation again since, but today, as I continue to enjoy the yummy-goodness that is my WhiteChocolatePretzelPEANUTBUTTER, I thought of a few more examples that could have possibly won my case for me on that fateful PB discussion day. #1 - Ice Cream. Cold Stone Creamery is a perfect example. When I mix in raspberries, strawberries, and a Twix bar with the sweet cream ice cream...is it no longer ice cream?? Of course it's still ice cream! Come on! #2 - Pancakes. When I mix blueberries and/or walnuts and/or granola in with the batter, is the finished result no longer a freakin' pancake just because I added some extra tasty treats?? Of course it's still a pancake!! (disclaimer: I have not, nor will I ever, actually put walnuts in my pancake batter.-- but I have seen it done)

As I finish my Spread-alicious bagel, I will fight the urge today at lunch to bring up this topic again. Breathe in, breathe out. Ahhh. I am calm. I will not bring up this topic again. But if one person tells me that the added fruit in my yogurt no longer makes it yogurt...we're gonna have serious problems up in here.

XO Smile like you just ate luscious peanut-buttery goodness XO

Happy Anniversary!!

Dearest Blog,

Yippee! We've made it a week together! This relationship has lasted longer than most lipstick I buy. I've really enjoyed this time we've spent together. I don't know if you've noticed but, Kevin, Pat, and even Clark are floating around in the blog universe too! It's all very exciting. It's like a new toy. A new adult like toy. Hey now, get your mind out of the gutter Blog! Not THAT kind of adult toy. But still very satisfying nonetheless.

I often find myself wondering what to write about though...Should I write about the bizarre dreams I have and how the combination of a persons computer background and a funny/lame cartoon movie aimed at mid-20's males led me to dream about MattDamon? Or should I write about the crazy childhood memories I have or maybe the next vacation I want to take?? Blog, I just get so discouraged sometimes. Oh well...Maybe something exciting will happen to me today and I can write about it tomorrow.

Nonetheless, thanks Blog, for a great first week together. May there be many more in our future.

XO Smile cause it's awesome XO

Forgetting and forgiving

As of late, I have been uncontrollably forgetful. Not with good reason either. It isn't as though I am the busiest person in the world and therefore can't keep my priorities straight. Nope. Just forgetful. Being forgetful directly makes me feel irresponsible. Which, for a girl who moved out on her own at 17, is incredibly frustrating. So if you happen to live in SD county, you may have heard me yell expletives last night upon realizing I had forgotten a concert date that I had been looking forward to for over a week. So I kindly have asked forgiveness from the lovely person who was supposed to be my concert partner in crime last night. As for my other bouts of forgetfulness, I don't think the billing department of my credit card company will be as forgiving of me for forgetting to pay the bill on time. We'll see. Maybe I can buy them lunch or something...I know a really good Thai place those bill collectors might enjoy.

~ You Got Me All Wrong -- Dios Malo ~

That's it. I'm probably forgetting to do something important right now.

Hello? It's me, Shamma...

I kinda feel like a big loser-dork-girl writing a blog on a beautiful sunny SD day like today... but oh well. (It was okay for Clark though since he was at work and had nothing better to do) Check out C-double-A's blog here! Awesome! Peer pressure will getcha every time...

I felt so inspired to write today simply because it's been a fantastic day!! I woke up pretty early for a Saturday (9am) made sure to leave the 1753 Crib without waking anyone (good morning Pat!!) and proceeded to come home and enjoy a little quality kitchen cleaning time with Lana. Ahh...good times. Then I watched the OC again (only because there was nothing better on...i swear!), and ate some pizza. Then I went to *bucks and met Clark downtown for a lunchbreak walk downtown. The crazy people, the sneaker stores, the strange smells...nothing like downtown I tell ya. I then went to get my cell phone fixed (finally). THAT went so much better than expected. When I got there I was informed that there was a 45 minute wait. This may have been frustrating to most people on a sunny Saturday, but not me. They gave me a handy dandy pager and off I went, yet again, to *bucks. Even better, I had my book in the car with me! I couldn't have been happier. Upon returning to the Sprint store I was told that it would take a week to replace my phone and I wouldn't be able to get a blue one. Sad Shamma. However, after a few minutes of bonding with my customer service representative about funny/scary customer service stories, a brand new blue phone was magically discovered in the back office. Wow! Imagine that! So I got a brand new phone for free. Wicked awesome. To thank them, I decided to buy a couple accessories since they work on commission. I asked for a headset and a car charger. Then the sales floor manager came over and said "give her 50% off too". WOW! It must be my lucky day (or I'm just an arguably attractive 22 year old wearing a tight white t-shirt...).

AND my wonderful boyfriend kindly got me the 'Wicker Park' soundtrack yesterday. Listening to the Postal Service sing their rendition of 'Against All Odds' makes my day. Not to mention hearing the DCFC acoustic version of A Movie Script Ending. I highly recommend it. Now I haven't actually seen Wicker Park mainly because, well, it looks like it sucks. But how can a soundtrack so good come from a movie so bad!?? Maybe the movie is great! Now I MUST see it! I have to know the truth!! This leads me to invite you to an open forum type discussion, what truly bad movies can you think of with great soundtracks? Seriously, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter. If you count my musical taste circa 1998, I'd say SoulFood. I loved that soundtrack at the time but didn't dig the movie so much. So what do you think?

I'm off to play with my new headset...check your phone...I might be calling you right now to test it out.

XO Smile like you mean it XO

from fireworks to fireplaces...

Damn that K-dubb. He's so smart. He stole my thought. I don't want to talk about politics anymore either. On to more important things... what a show last night!! I feel satisfied and fulfilled. Luke was back for a moment, kept calling Ryan 'Chino' - priceless. Seth is growing up and has a bit more confidence and life experience. Marissa freaked out and threw pool furniture in the pool. It was even better with TiVo. Freeze framing that scream was a pretty great idea. Good job Lana. :-)

My fingers are freezing. My mug of hot chocolate this morning did nothing for my sleepiness. I didn't even have time to stop at *bucks on the way to work. But at least Britt had a fabulous hair day yesterday. :-)

It's chilly out today. I don't think we're in summer anymore Toto. It seems like a minute ago I was at a fabulous Fourth of July beach party with the coolest peeps in town. I look forward to a colorful scarf or two, hot chocolate nights, down comforters, holidays, fireplaces, seeing my breath in the air, Christmas cookies and lights, and those random 80 degree weather winter days on the beach. Luckily, this winter I won't have to spend so many nights freezing in that damn alleyway. :-)

Wow, every part of this email ended with a smiley face. How's that for positivity?!

XO Smile like you have a cool secret XO

Nothing is better than something...strike that, reverse it.

I am so happy to hear all of the opinions flying around this morning and last night regarding the election. While it's true I woke up this morning way more excited about TheOC premier than I was on ElectionDay...I'm still happy to say, I cared about this election and will continue to speak my piece without hesitation or regret. I pride myself on the fact that I can have a political conversation with most people without getting into a personally attacking argument. For the most part. :-) I look forward to seeing my 90% Republican family next week and sharing our stories and feelings on this matter. I know why I voted for JohnKerry. I'm pro choice, pro stem cell research, and pro gay marriage. Plain and simple and not afraid to say it. I know far too many people who deserve the hope of stem cell research and as my grandmother sits waiting for her next round of chemo therapy and my best friends mom awaits her next surgery to remove cancer, it saddens me to think that they are the ones affected by this outcome. I also know too many couples in loving committed relationships (better than most straight relationships I might add...) who deserve the love and happiness that any straight couple deserves. What the world needs now is love, sweet love -- right? I don't think we should deny anyone of that. 50% of marriages end in divorce. Wouldn't that be considered bad for the "family values" that we hear as the excuse for not allowing gay marriage? Why don't we go old-school Ireland style and outlaw divorce too? I heard this morning that the lead singer of DeathCabForCutie broke down in tears during his performance yesterday because he was so upset about the election. He got choked up, stopped singing, and walked off the stage. Just a little bit of entertainment news for ya.

~ Sound of Settling... Death Cab for Cutie ~

I love that everyone has an opinion about this election. Whether I agree or not. I truly enjoy hearing the other POVs on the matter and I'm happy that everyone seems to have some feeling on it. It's better than not caring at all. It was trendy to vote. It mattered to vote. But most importantly, it mattered to get people to open their eyes. Even if only for a moment. And for that I thank the Hollywood-trend-setters for their efforts. Hold on a sec...I dropped my mesh trucker hat...oopps, one of my pink Ugg boots just fell off...

With that..thank god it's Thursday! TheOC is on tonight and I've been brushing up on season one. I almost forgot that the Cooper's had a Golden Retriever named Dustin! What ever happened to him? He and the younger daughter must be busy. Good thing I have the DVDs now. And TiVo. Wow. Thank god for that too. If I haven't told you already, remind me to tell you the neat little flaw Clark and I found while watching Episode #2 -'The Model Home' last night. Good stuff.

~ The Promise ... When In Rome ~

My discovery of the day is that I am an 'active listener'. You know, the kind of person that is constantly saying "uh-huh" and/or nodding their head during conversation. Exactly what is the acceptable amount of participation while listening to someone else speak? I thought I hated active listeners.

XO Smile like the person you voted for won XO

Hello?! It was called 'VoteForChange' Tour NOT 'Vote to Stay the #$%@ing SAME' Tour...

Sadly, my very first blog comes the day after the highly anticipated 2004 Presidential Election. I woke up yesterday morning and my first thought was, Bush is going to win. I emailed a few people telling them of my vision and for the first time ever, I'm disgusted by the accuracy of my oh-so-very-Scorpio-like intuitions. As of this morning at 8:40am I was informed that Kerry bowed out like a gentleman, conceding the presidential election to good ol' Dub-ya. It feels like such a personal loss. Maybe it's because I live in California. Or Southern California. Or, more specifically, PacificBeach. The 2004 election is responsible for the most new voters in SanDiego county history, not to mention the most 18-25 year old voters in any US election history. Despite that, and PDiddy's threat to kill me if I don't vote, we were defeated. Anyone who "saw how much red covered the map on CNN last night" will understand why and how we got to where we find ourselves today. These poor middle state people...I don't think they have cable, let alone access to VoteOrDie.com. I guess for me, I feel saddened by this because it seems no matter what we did or how hard we tried, there is no sign of improvement in the near future.

This quote was shared with me by my Republican-Bush-Loving relatives today..."If you're not a Democrat in your 20's there's something wrong with your heart and if you're not a Republican by the time you're 30 there's something wrong with your head." Hmmm, we'll see about that...

With that, I have to say a big HOORAY to hear that Donna Frye still maintains the Sandy Eggo mayoral lead at time of this post. And I am happy with most of the proposition results as well. Ahhh...there is still good left in the world.

My work day has been like this election...a few good things here and there, but the big picture was nothing but a big fat disappointment. Better luck next time. On to 2008...another election...and another leap year.

I leave you with these words of inspiration...

"I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?'" —George W. Bush, Beaverton, Oregon, Aug. 13, 2004

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" - George W. Bush

XO Smile until your face hurts XO